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The 5 Commandments (of DPS)

March 8, 2010

Who's that motha ****er lookin' so FINE!?

To start off the “new” blog in the right direction I figured I should post the (SERIOUS) rules of DPSing. These were thought up by Alex and I last night when the two of us were in random giggle fits, enjoy!

Good news, good news! I have returned from the mountain and have brought with me the wishes of a HIGHER POWER! He spoke to me from a Frost Lotus bush and it was burning. Let us recite these 10 *drops*- 5 commandments of this… GOD!

Commandment 1: You are a bitch to the RNG, merely a tool at its great disposal-
Before you go to sleep at night pray to the RNG for everlasting, savory, DPS. Make sure you use its gifts in the will of the RNG and blow the brains out of every creature you encounter.

Commandment 2: Stay in thine fire-
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? No, I won’t, this shit is for reals. In our latest (or lack thereof) tests, we have discovered that standing in fire increases DPS by 20%! Stand in that shit! If Fire Mages use it as DPS it HAS to be safe!

Commandment 3: Thou shalt kill-
In order to DPS one must use the hurtz. In order to effectively hurtz one must kill.

Commandment 4: Thou shalt not Misdirect/Tricks of the Trade thy Healer-
As hilarious as it may be, your Healer will most likely die, and you will look like an idiot. For the sake of not ruining your good names just MD/TotT your Tank!

Commandment 5: Thou shalt not link thine Recount after a wipeth-
It was a WIPE. Who cares if you were truckin’ DPS on a wipe? You still have to do it AGAIN because someone screwed up!

And that my friends is the will of the great power, the RNG. Let us go about this generator’s wishes in groups of 3 and blast the fuck out of everything in our line of sight!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. March 8, 2010 6:15 PM

    And whatever thoughst dost do, though shalt only counteth to 3 when tossing your holy saronite handgrenades…

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