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Stay The Hell Away From Bombs, Lazars As Well!

August 16, 2009



“Jesus Christ, get those bombs down, we do not need the tank dieing guys. Seriously, your dps does not matter if we are all dead!” Screams our hero with the blue hair…

No I am kidding, for my only Uld group that has ever made it past XT-002 Deconstructor, they were amazing. A great raid leader, great guildies (not mine, but whatever), and great PuGs (high five to Gradz), the entire raid just worked. Everyone listened to the raid leader, and we got fights down fast and furiously, besides which, there were of course many laughs on vent. Anyways, we have two strategies just for you guys, how to take down XT-002 Deconstructor, and Kologarn! Enjoy!

XT-002 Deconstructor: This is quite an easy fight, and there are multiple ways to tank the Deconstructor himself, but the one we used, was having Gradii snag XT and tank him with the boss’ front facing the left wall. The fight has begun, congratulation, okay well it is definitely not a tank and spank, but for the tank, there is not that much you need to watch out for on XT, he just hits really frickin’ hard. There are two different bombs that any player can and will get in the duration of the fight, one is called a “light bomb” and the other is a “gravity bomb”. When a player finds this debuff applied, he needs to run away from the raid, for he will tick with a certain amount of damage, and if they are close, the other will get that same damage each tick. To help lessen the chance of death, run the hell out of the raid, stay close, but do not stand next to someone, and if you do this, you can get an achievement called Nerf Gravity Bombs. Another move XT will do is an earthquake like move, he will basically pound the ground and everyone gets hit by some nice damage, try and stay close to the healers so they can AoE heal and all of that junk, who cares about DPS meters if you’re dead, right? The group should be going decently now, okay around 70% health or so, XT will stop, and his heart will pop out. By killing his heart you activate his hard mode, now we did not do this so I am not really sure as to what it is, but I do know it gives better loot, as well as the Heartbreaker achievement. Also, if you kill the heart, it is like resetting the boss, he hit harder and all of that junk, but his health is now at 100% again. After the first Heart Phase, the Off Tank actually gets to do something, so get ready buddy, your time to shine is beginning now! Now adds will spawn on the opposite side of the room, your job is to find any robot like things, pick them up and keep them on you, and if you see those bomb groups going towards XT tell your ranged to get on that shit. They will blow up and hurt you guys, but they prance around with repair bots that will heal him for a ton if they are not shot down by the dps fast enough. Also, if he is not healed once during the fight, you could get the Nerf Engineering achievement out of the deal. The fight is just a rinse and repeat, and depending on how fast your DPS is will generally be when your next Heart Phase will be dropping down, other then that keep doing what you have been doing, and you will be done in no time. Though if your group is godly-fast like mine was, you could get Must Deconstruct Faster, which requires you to down XT in Under 205 seconds! The only other achievement is Nerf  Scrapbots, in which your group needs to down 20 scrapbots in 12 seconds using the bombs to destroy them.

That is all for XT-002 Deconstructor, he is seriously a pansy, but definitely one of my favorite bosses in Ulduar. They really went creative with him, they had the good old GTFO debuffs, but the adds spawning in a parade always made me laugh. Now kiddos, if there is one thing you should have learned from Ulduar already is that in basically all the fights, everyone is going to be taking damage from some sort of AoE’s. The fights are definitely not hard to do, but a huge load lies on the healers’ shoulders, so do try your best to avoid avoidable damage to help out your buddies.

It's the one with the shield you want, not me!

It's the one with the shield you want, not me!

Kologarn: Kologarn is a giant-ass mo’fo that stands between the broken bridge and the rest of the instance, does he really need to be there? Sure, Gradz wanted his tank necklace, so Hogger has spoken and we now have Kologarn. Like in a few boss fights of Ulduar, the tanks need to be rotating their time tanking this overgrown statue, the key is to switch every 3 debuffs Kologarn puts on the person tanking him. This debuff is called Crunch Armor and it decreases said tank’s armor for 25%, of course it stacks so as was said before, switch on the magic number of 3. Now if it glitches like Gradii’s did where it did not show up but the debuff was applied, do try and switch every two and a half minutes or so, so you do not end up like him and get face planted. That said, you should have a tank on body of Kologarn, and when your Raid Leader says something like “switch to arm” he is telling all of the dps to go on the Right Hand (or left if he said to) of Kologarn, they will nuke the living crap out of it and then some Rubble will spawn. This Rubble is where your Off Tank gets to show off his AoE moves of, awesome! Now these guys hit like pansies, and they are more afraid of you then you are of them, so hit them with a nice Howling Blast crit from good ol’ Uncle Elnoriah. Besides which, if you take down 25 of them before Kologarn is dead, you will be awarded with Rubble and Roll! The tanks are picking up the adds and are switching on intervals of 3 stacks, and the DPS is downing the hands with ease, this fight is simple, you are wrong, it is simple except for the fact that the ranged actually have to do something other then hitting the TAB key every so often. They get to dodge LAZARS, yes you heard me, Lazar beams, from his eyes! And trust me friends, it is not hard to do so, and to make things simple,  it is like the Lazar beams in Heroic Halls of Stone in that boss encounter we all know and love. Fine, I am sorry squishies for picking on you, so melee you also need to do the same, and if all of you decide to not get shot down by the eyes you can get a fairly easy achievement, If Looks Could Kill. Nice job, by now you should be on a smooth road to downing Kologarn, he is definitely a fun boss, but he is also a pretty easy one. The only thing that could kill a group is a lack of communication, and even then you could probably do this fight without a vent or what not. Just  kidding, trust me, use vent for everything (well for anything that takes longer then an honest hour’s worth of work), helps you a lot in Ulduar, and just to keep you from going bored in almost any raid.

Feel like being daring?: Of course you do not, but there are a couple of people out there who might so listen up, my friends! Disarmed is the last achievement that you can earn from Kologarn, and this once again takes a lot of communication and coordination, like the entire boss fight. The jist of this achievement is to go through the fight and when you are going to finally down this big bad bridge o’ doom, you lob off both of his arms and kill him within 12 seconds. Honestly, I have yet to do this, but I would imagine a raid leader would need to split the dps on either arm and have them destroy said arms at almost the same times, sort of like the Thaddius fight in Naxx. Kologarn would have to be around 5% and would need to be nuked down according, for you only get 12 seconds here folks. Though, if any seasoned veterans would love to share their stories, please comment accordingly!

Writer’s Update: First of all, I would like to thank everyone for all of their positive feedback regarding the Podcast especially. We are glad you all enjoyed it as much as Gradii and I loved making it, so speaking of which, this week there will be a special guest joining us on our second Podcast, so tune in to find out who! Our next Ulduar strategy post will be by the one and only Warrior Tank here at Plagued Candles, but do not fret my fans, this Death Knight is going to be giving you some juicy Death Knight posts, as well as a sort of announcement! Happy WoWing!


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